The Ramblings of a Slightly Mad Lily Evans
by You're Just As Sane As I Am
Summary: SLightly mad is an understatement. With Gwen, Emma, James Potter eventually , and Kitty, Doggy, and Snakey, Lily goes through her last year at Hogwarts as Head Girl. I will stick with this story! Read and Review! MIght change rating
1. Chapter 1: Horse and Walrus Babies

The Ramblings of a Slightly Mad Lily Evans

Chapter 1

Horse and Walrus Babies

July 21st

My Bedroom

Around Lunch

GUESS WHAT!? I GOT HEAD GIRL!! I'M SO HAPPY! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I must tell Emma and Gwen! Parchment...where did my parchment go?! I just had it on my desk! WHERE DID IT GO?! Bugger. I need to go get more quills now that I think about it.

"Lily? Dear, what are you doing? Are you okay?"

Um, no. But do I say that to my mother? Um, no.

"Yes perfectly fine, why do you ask?"

"Maybe because your room is a mess and your scream could be heard downstairs…even over Tuney's music."

My room is a mess? Nah. I just cleaned it this morning and…OH MY GOD! I did mess it up. Ah well. Nothing too bad. I realized my mother was waiting for an answer.

"Oh…sorry about that Mum. You see, I've just been made Head Girl and I was going to write Emma and Gwen but I lost my parchment…so I can't really."

My mum had gone white. "You're Head Girl? My darling Lily? Head Girl?"

Oh well gee thanks mum, glad to know you had faith in me. Sheesh. I don't think that's how you're supposed to treat your daughter. Yeah I suppose I shouldn't have told her what Head Girl was…Oh…I suppose my mum is waiting for an answer,

"Yes, Mum. I got Head Girl. Oh and I need to go to Diagon Alley soon. Have you seen Adrastos? I let him out to hunt and I'm pretty sure he came back in."

Adrastos is my owl. His name means not inclined to run away and well that's exactly him. He's a very proud owl. Very stubborn. Probably hiding under that blanket in his cage. Oh yup. It's moving. Well nice to know he came back so quickly.

"Alright dear. I don't have time to take you to Diagon Alley so why don't you see if you can go with Emmeline or Gwenog?" she answered, turning to walk out the door, still pale, "Oh and dear, your parchment is on your bed."

Ah what an observant mother. You see, that's why I keep her around. Well I suppose I could go with Gwen or Emma. Hmm…..I'll ask Emma and see if we can meet Gwen there. Yeah…Gwen has lots of people in her family. No need to add to that! Now, to write;

_Em,_

_How's your summer been so far? I've missed you so much and haven't had much fun here. Petunia still thinks I'm a freak but now she has fat-man Vernon. He's like a walrus. I personally don't think a walrus and a horse make a good pair but I wonder what their children will look like. Maybe half-horse, half-walrus. Haha, can't wait to see that! _

_Anyway you'll never guess what I got in my Hogwarts letter! I GOT HEAD GIRL! I'm so excited! I can't wait for school to start now! _

_Actually I also have something to ask you. Do you think I could go to Diagon Alley with you? My mum is too caught up with Horse and Walrus to do anything with me. Can you say unfair? Anyway maybe Gwen could meet us there. Hope you had a good summer!_

_Loves,_

_Lily_

_Gwennie,_

_How's your summer been so far? I've missed you so much and haven't had much fun here. Petunia still thinks I'm a freak but now she has fat-man Vernon. He's like a walrus. I personally don't think a walrus and a horse make a good pair but I wonder what their children will look like. Maybe half-horse, half-walrus. Haha, can't wait to see that! _

_Anyway you'll never guess what I got in my Hogwarts letter! I GOT HEAD GIRL! I'm so excited! I can't wait for school to start now! _

_So who's been your summer hook-up this year Gwen? Don't tell me it's someone that's three years older than you again. That was horrible and you know it. _

_Petunia and Walrus are getting engaged. My mum is too caught up in the animal wedding to have anything to do with me. I need to get out of this hellhole. I'm serious. You know what I mean Gwen. Maybe Emma will invite us over. Operation G.E.T.I.U.O is in action_

_Loves, _

_Lily_

Now; we wait. No Adrastos. NO! OW! OUCH! ADASTROS! THAT HURT! Bloody bird. Told you he was too stubborn for his own good. Didn't want to deliver the letters. But I shoved him out the window. Yeah that probably wasn't the smartest thing for me to do but he doesn't have far to go. I'm going to take a nap…Mum made me get up at 5:00 this morning! And for what you ask. Because Horse-face needed help doing something. I threw my alarm clock at her. I think I have some skills. She has a big bruise right on her forehead. Lily 1 Horsy 0. I am so good. Well….night time for Lily…

Later

Still my room

Tired

"Freak! Get your bum out of bed and clean your room! Vernon is coming over!" Why does my room, which is, by the way, upstairs and towards the back, need to be cleaned for walrus-man? He's not coming in my room. I'm not cleaning my room. Oh burn Petunia. Burn. Lily: 2 Petunia: 0

"Lily. Now."

Bugger. Make that Lily: 1 Petty: 1 Not fair! I was so winning then my own mother had to go and betray me!

"Mother! I am shocked! I thought I was your favorite daughter! You betrayed my trust! I am ashamed. I believed in you!" Oh yes. I did just say that. Yeah I did. Ooh haha. Lily: 2 Mum/Petty: 1 Take that you…umm…you pineapples!

"Lily Anna Evans! What did you just say to me young lady?"

Um, nothing?

"Clean your room right now missy or your going to be missing out on some fun with Vernon, Petunia, your father and I."

Fun? I think not. I mean, Petunia lost all meaning of fun when I got my Hogwarts letter and she turned into a bitter lemon and Vernon, holy canoly have you seen that man? He's about as fun as staring at the Giant Squid while dying from a weird, unknown disease with your eyes closed and eating a whole pineapple in one bite with the skin and all. Not fun. No fun at all.

Oh! There's Adrastos with two letters! Wait…three letters. Why three? I only wrote to Em and Gwen. Geez.

_Lils,_

_My summer has been great so far! I just got back from visiting my family in France. It was fun but I missed you and Gwen so much. I was in need of some girl power. You know how my female cousins are. All prissy and full of themselves so I got to hang out with the boys. I really need to see you guys. My parents said you guys could spend the remainder of the summer here if it was all right with your parents._

_Nothing new with Petunia though huh? I'm feel sorry for you even though I know you don't want my "pity" But it's not pity, Lily, I care._

_OH MY GOD! CONGRATS LILY! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! I KNEW YOU WOULD GET IT! I'm so happy for you! You and Gwen really need to come over and we could celebrate! Please come over!_

_Miss ya_

_Emma_

_Lily-Hun,_

_Eh. The usual; pranked my brothers, my sisters and yeah. I won. (Of course) I got to visit my aunt and uncle and they took me to the Quidditch World Cup. It was the Holyhead Harpies vs. the Appleby Arrows. I was cheering for the Holyhead Harpies of course and they WON! IT WAS AWESOME! It was a close game though. 450-460. It was so much fun! Griffiths caught the snitch after about 4 hours. It was about to rain when she caught it near the Arrows goalposts. It was bloody awesome!_

_Did Emma tell you that we could spend the rest of the summer at her place? I am so going! And dare I ask what "Operation G.E.T.I.U.O" is? Anyway, they're engaged? Are you kidding me? Walrus-horse babies…you crack me up Lils. Anyone ever told you you're a madwoman? Well madwoman or insane…your choice. _

_OH MY GOD LILY CONGRATS! NOW YOU CAN TAKE POINTS OFF PEOPLE AND YOU GET YOUR OWN DORM AND WE WILL HAVE MANY, MANY GIRLS NIGHTS! Oh…wait…the Head Boy and his freaks, I mean friends. Damn. Why does he have to be Head Boy? And no Lily. I'm not telling you who Head Boy is. But I have some juicy news. A new girl is coming to Hogwarts this year. She went to another wizarding school and is going to take seventh year at Hogwarts. I think she's James's cousin but I'm not sure. _

WHAT?! JAMES'S COUSIN!? I feel so bad for her. A poor girl, with that…that…thing for a cousin, Well…I have Petunia so I guess it's not her fault for having a bullying toerag for a relative. He is arrogant, a bullying toerag, immature, annoying, irritating, good-for-nothing prat, constantly-asking-me-out-as-a-joke-and-or-just-for-the-chase-and-has-no-respect-for-my-space-and-privacy, and—oh right. The letter.

_I didn't hook up with anyone this summer Lily. Not at ALL. Well maybe someone but it's not that one kid…he was weird. Anyway you'll find out when we go to Em's house. I miss you guys terribly! See you at Em's!_

_Cheers_

_G.J._

Well that letter sure brightens things up doesn't it? Gwen won't tell me and I'll have to find out for myself. What great mates.

Oh I almost forgot! I wonder who the third letter is from. Let's open it and find out!

_Lilikins_

_I know how much you despise me but how's your summer going? I hope it's gone well, even with your sister. _

_Besides the fact that you despise me, could you do me a favor? My cousin is coming to Hogwarts this year, she's a Seventh Year, and I was wondering if you could help make her feel comfortable. It's a lot to ask but the only people she knows at Hogwarts are male, so she would be all alone in the dormitories. _

_Thanks,_

_Love, _

_James_

"So Kitty, how would you and Doggy and Snakey like to be my new best friends? What have you done this summer?"

Kitty, the stuffed snake, went to eat mice.

Doggy, the stuffed cat, went to the junk yard.

Snakey, the stuffed dog, went to the swimming pool.

What great, exciting friends.

No, really. I mean it.

August 30

Emma's room

Nighttime

"So let me get this straight Lil, you name a dog snakey, a cat, doggy, and a snake kitty? And they are all stuffed? You do realize that that is a very insanish/madwoman related thing to do?" asked Emma incredulously as I unpacked my overnight things and pulled out Kitty, Snakey, and Doggy. I quickly covered their ears when she said that. They don't need to be teased because they have unique names.

"They don't need to be teased Emma. They are very sensitive people. Not to be messed with either."

"Lily?"

"Yes Gwen?"

"You're one odd one, you know that?"

"Why yes Gwen thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment Lily" Emma said rolling her eyes.

I rolled my eyes right back at her and stuck out my tongue. Yeah, I pride myself on being mature.

"Very mature Lilikins, very mature." Aaaand the award for who pointed out the most obvious thing goes tooo Gwenog Jones!

"We need to go to Diagon Alley! Now! Pleeease?" I wasn't whining. Sheesh.

"Quit your whining, we're going there right now."

Bugger. Emma: 1. Lily:0


	2. Chapter 2: Diagon Alley

**A/N**: So…umm sorry for not updating sooner….I got banned from the computer and so I couldn't like…well update or even do anything! So yeah. Again sorry.

**Disclaimer: **I think I forgot to put one on my story last time so here goes: I don't own any of these characters because blabbity blah blah blah. I do however, own the plot, doggy, Kitty, and Snakey, and I do own James's cousin.

**August 30**

**About 9:00 pm**

**Diagon Alley**

**Madam Malkin's**

Well….we made it to Diagon Alley! Hooray! No one died! So far we've gotten pretty much everything we need.

The school books from Flourish and Blotts. The cauldrons and potions ingredients from the Apothecary, owl treats for Adrastos, Em's owl, Elmo, and Gwen's owl, Gizmo. Right now we're in Madam Malkin's Robe shop getting our school uniforms…hooray! We're also supposed to get dress robes for a Christmas thing but Emma, Gwen and I are going to get them in Hogsmeade because we don't know the theme or what it's going to be like so yeah. I STILL don't know who Head Boy is! Apparently Emma knows too and they STILL WON"T TELL ME!! WE STILL HAVE ONE WHOLE DAY UNTIL SCHOOL STARTS! Bugger. Oh! I have an idea…it is…risky…and dangerous. But it has to be done.

Plan: Ask around the train without getting pummeled. Dun dun dun….

**5 minutes later**

**Diagon Alley**

**Madam Malkin's**

I told my fabulous and very risky and dangerous plan to Emma and Gwen and guess what they did? They LAUGHED at my wonderful plan. LAUGHED at it, okay. That hurt guys. That HURT! And guess what they said? They said I should just wait for the Prefect's meeting. I mean…yeah it's a good idea but my idea is foolproof. Except for the fact that some Slytherin could beat me up. And then James would hear about. And then he would probably kill that one kid. And then he would get expelled and so would I because of that one Slytherin……………………………Okay….so you caught me. Maybe my plan is not as foolproof as I thought. Fine, maybe it's not foolproof at all. Oh all right I'll go with Emma and Gwen's plan.

Lily: 0 Emma/Gwen: 1 =( not fair.

I will get you back Emma and Gwen! MWAHAHAHAHAHA-oh….people are starting to look and Em and Gwen are starting to come over here.

"Lily, are you okay?" Emma asked, always the sensitive one, while Gwen was dragging me outside by the ear. Um yeah…perfectly fine except for the fact that Gwen was dragging me by the EAR! I mean OUCH!

"Ouch Gwen. My ear will forever hate you."

"How about if I treat us all to ice cream?" she replied in a singy song voice.

Emma squealed and my stupid mouth went off and said, "AHHHH ICE CREAM! I WANT ICE CREAM! NOW! NOW! NOW! LET'S GOOO!" and I sped, full speed, towards Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor, with Gwen and Emma close behind.

I'm gonna eat my ice cream now…

**Midnight**

**August 30…or the 31**

**Emma's room**

**The Floor**

We got back about an hour ago…and we snuck in through her bedroom window. After ice cream we went to visit Gringotts to get money for the train ride tomorrow. Right now Emma and Gwen are snoring…I think I'm going to go to sleeeeeee-

oooOooo

A/N: Sorry this is so short you guys but I had to give you something…and I don't have much time on the computer so here you guys go. Please review! I know it's short…

Happy Cookies!

Lily: Goodbye lovely people! Say goodbye Kitty, Snakey, and Doggy!

Doggy: …

Kitty: …..

Snakey: Hiss….

Lily: Snakey, you're not a snake.

Snakey: I'm just getting living up to my name:

James: Evans? Why are you talking to stuffed animals?

Lily: I am NOT talking to stuffed animals, Potter.

James: Really? That's what it looks like. So…Lily…

Lily: No Potter.

James: Yes! I was going to ask you if you didn't want to go out with me!

Lily: ARGH!! *stomps off to Heads Room*

James: Lily! Wait! I want you to stay! *runs after her*

Kitty: …

Doggy: Well then…

Snakey: Goodbye and review for You're Just As Sane As I Am, who is, actually, not sane at all. So if you review it might help her sanity, maybe…

Kitty: Probably not, but one can hope, right?!

Me: Right…now be quiet! This is going to go on FOREVER! Hey, do you guys want to go get some rice?


	3. Chapter 3: Pancakes, prefects, Potters

Disclaimer: Blah blah its not mine I know I know. It's the awesome J.K. Rowling's…she's awesome. Have you guys SEEN the 6th Harry Potter trailer that was released a few days ago?! It is AWESOME!!!! Have I mentioned that J.K. Rowling is awesome?

**Chapter 3**

**Pancakes, prefects, Potters**

**August 32, I mean, September 1**

**Morning**

**Emma's Kitchen**

**Tired**

Em, Gwen and I are making chocolate chip pancakes. It's about 10:00 and we started making them one whole hour ago! I don't think we're even halfway done.

"Hey guys guess who wrote me over the summer." I said, I am very tired of the silence.

"Who?"

"James"

"Really?" "What about?

"Trying to get me to do a favor for him,"

"What favor?"

"Just….a favor."

"Lil! Come on! Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!"

"Maybe later…"

"Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!"

"Are the pancakes done yet? I'm starved!"

"Lil don't try changing the subject!" yelled Em. Hahaha…it's working!!

"Tell us! Tell us! Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!"

"Gwen! Shut UP!" Wow...that girl has better lung pipes than I do and I played trumpet when I was in Muggle school. I mean I started playing right up from when I was only 8 all the way to 10. Then I quit because I figured magic was a better way to use up my energy. Oh Em's looking over my shoulder.

She says, "Energy? _That's _what you call it? I'd call it more of a spitball-firebreathing dragon-hot-tempered-I'm-gonna-kill-you type of energy!"

And now she's rolling around on the floor laughing. She's literally on the floor.

"Oh haha Emmeline Vance. It's not my fault I'm freakishly short with a large temper!"

"Large???? Try humungoious!" Greeeat Gwen joins the Let's-pick-on-Lily moment of the day.

"Fine. I'm not telling you!" Mwahaha I am sooo evil!

Lily: 1Em/Gwen:0

I am IN the LEAD! Oh sweet sweet victory!!

"Tell us what?"

"Wait what?"

"Umm….I'm not sure…"

"Oh yeah! So Lily….what's the favor?"

"James wants me to make his cousin feel comfortable at school seeing as the only people she knows that go to Hogwarts are males and since she's a girl she's going to need someone to hang out with and help her get comfortable so James asked me and that is the favor."

"Lily…"

"Yes Em."

"That doesn't even make sense"

"Yeah it does Em."

"Nu uh Gwen! Fine if you get it then explain!"

"Obviously, James just wanted Lily to make his cousin feel comfortable. His cousin only knows the Marauders and they are all male so it's not like they're all gonna share a dormitory. Geesh Emma and you were supposed to be the smart one!"

"Oh haha!" And there goes my sanity….

"Chocolate chip fight!!"

**September 1 **

**Aboard the Hogwarts Express**

**Compartment: MINE!**

So we ended up having to take the pancakes with us on the train because it was SOMEONE'S bright idea to have a chocolate chip fight!

Gwen looked over my shoulder. She's like, "Yeah YOUR bright idea."

Well everyone loves chocolate so really! No harm done!!!

Anyway its just about time to go to the prefects meeting. Can't wait to see who HB is! Hope it's someone good!


End file.
